I had been with my partner for six years when she announced, abruptly, that it was over. I remember she was crying. I was not: I was too stunned. It was as if, in the rulebook of how to end a relationship, she had torn out the last chapter. Disagreements, rows, eating meals in silence, sleeping in separate rooms: these things were all missing from our end sequence. So, at 52, I found myself unexpectedly single. As well as the pain of the breakup, I was also scared about single life. I had never struggled to meet women, but in the old-fashioned way: at parties, bars and clubs.
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Life is suddenly wonderful, and you catch yourself smiling, humming, and happy all the time. But daytime game is the key. She is now happy with her uber-Mormon boyfriend and I am happily dating other people as well. No one, except someone who has been Mormon can understand how deep the hooks are sunk into the Mormon psyche. And their feelings about your marriage are their businessвnot yours.
Pants-to-Church Sunday left me a bit bruised. Otherwise, happiness can be found in any relationship. Calls during thanks giving and Christmas makes me really upset. If so, then step away from the internet and go look him in the eyes and take his hands and start asking him all the questions you asked me. If you can genuinely deconvert her then cool. There is still a chance you can work out your differences, but it will require major concessions on both sides. Or, if I'm at work, even though I'm constantly busy, even if I wasn't, I can't just pull my phone out and call--i'm at work. To embrace each others needs and interests, it seems I am destined to long for this connection into eternity. She is considered "an old maid" by Mormon standards, so she may be willing to marry you--hoping you will convert someday --but she will constantly be reminded that your marriage is inferior to the "Eternal Families" of sealed Mormons, and she will fear dying and never seeing her loved ones again. And no one has the right to judge you for your decision.